A new super villain was unveiled this past Halloween, the dastardly Dr. Perhaps, whose menace renders his victims incapable of making a decision. The Dr.’s sidekick, the evil Ho Hum, sucks the joy out of any room she’s in.

This exercise in creative writing is entirely inspired by my skilled wordsmith son, who turns 16 today, he invented these new Marvel-esque characters. Happy birthday, Toby, the one who just might lasso the moon. We love you.